The Top 6 Tackiest Places to Get Married
Are you tying the knot in 2020? Or maybe doing your research to find out how to become a wedding planner? Either way, it’s just as important to know which places to avoid having a wedding at, as it is to know the prime locations!
Now, if your clients are purposefully going for tacky (some people do), then right on! They probably have a great sense of humor. Chances are, though, your clients are among the majority who wish to approach their wedding in a more serious way. So rather than embracing the cringe, it’d be in your best interest to know what to stay far, far away from.
So here’s a list of 6 of the tackiest wedding locations anyone could ever get married at! If you’re thinking of suggesting ANY of these places to your clients, be warned: they may laugh just as hard as you do… Or they may think you’re serious and explode from stress.
We can guarantee neither.
1. Denny’s, Taco Bell, or pretty much any restaurant
Paint this picture for your client: she’s all done up… Her hair and makeup are perfect, and in her gown, she looks like a princess… She hears, “Please stand for the bride,” and the plastic curtains part. Taking a deep breath, she begins walking across the McDonalds restaurant, past all of her friends and family… The Hamburglar is officiating the big event. Happy Meals will be free for all between 2 and 3:30pm…
How romantic!
Really, though, this is tackiness incarnate. It’s one thing for the bride and groom to sneak away from the venue to go get some greasy, delicious restaurant food. But only so long as it’s quick, and then they leave! Holding the wedding IN the restaurant, on the other hand? It’s convenient, but certainly not classy.
(Maybe we’re just jealous because we heard that Denny’s offers a Pancake Puppies® Cake to those who wed there. But still!)
2. Las Vegas, Nevada
To some, this may be the dream location. Lots of people probably love the idea of marching into Graceland Chapel and getting legally married by a sweaty Elvis impersonator. Hey, if that’s your thing, you do you!
But let’s call a spade a spade: this wedding is tacky as tacky can be. In general, Vegas weddings are overdone, often hasty, and rarely sober. The location itself may be called Graceland, but there’s very little that’s actually graceful about it.
Also, if your client is hoping for her big day to be unique and special, let her know straight up that she won’t get it here.
But on the plus side: since the process only takes a couple of minutes, the wedding will be over before she even realizes it’s started. This means there will be virtually NO time for her to get stressed! Maybe that’ll be a fair trade…?
3. On Television
Unless your client is an A-list celebrity, PLEASE warn them that getting married on television is not only tacky, but kind of obnoxious, too. I’s practically saying: “Our wedding is so important that not only should our friends and family witness it (which makes sense), TOTAL STRANGERS should give it their attention as well!” (Which does not make sense.)
But if your client is adamant about making their wedding day this big of a public event, you might as well go all out. When in Rome, right? So try to see if the videographer knows anyone at Netflix. Maybe it can be turned into a Special! You can even offer your clients a packaged deal that includes a free appearance on Divorce Court in the future.
In this case, the sky is limitless!
4. Under the sea
Is your client a little too committed to her wedding’s ocean theme? Is she now calling her fiancé Sebastian, even though his name is Dan? Does the catering only consist of plankton and crustaceans? Are you worried there may be legitimate plans to try and flood the venue?
All we can say is, hopefully all the guests can hold their breath for a really long time!
…Okay, this one may be a tad absurd, even for this list. But there’s still a certain level of truth to it. As a certified wedding planner, you’ll be surprised at some of the completely unrealistic requests clients will request from time to time! As the expert, it’ll be your job to keep them grounded in reality, and remind them what is and isn’t plausible.
“You can’t have an actual wedding underwater” is probably a good place to start.
5. The mall
Has anyone hear ever watched the show, How I Met Your Mother? Whether you have or you haven’t, please check out this music video. Then come back, and tell me if you honestly think a shopping mall ISN’T one of the tackiest places ever to host a wedding.
We suppose that if your client wants something quick and easy, a mall could probably check off those boxes. Also, maybe she wants her wedding day to be public, but not to the same level as the couple wanting to get hitched on TV. No, this client doesn’t want that level of exposure – she just wants it be public enough that it’s still uncomfortable.
A mall would be the ideal choice, then! And hey, another perk is that once the ceremony is over, everyone can grab a bite to eat at the food court, and then do some shopping before heading out for the day. Score!
6. Prison
I mean… There are a LOT of reasons why this isn’t exactly the most sophisticated joint to get married in.
For starters, it’s hard to create a romantic vibe when there’s a thick wall of bullet-proof glass separating the happy couple. Sure, you could probably try and spruce up the room with some flowers, but good luck getting them past security.
Also, it’s hard to pull off orange – much less having that color be the star of the show! Ever seen an orange wedding dress? What about a suave, bright orange tuxedo? Neither have we. Not to mention, trying to coordinate the partner’s outfit with it would be nothing but a hassle.
You can tell your client that they can also pretty much forget about any other wedding tradition, such as exchanging rings, or even sharing a simple kiss! Really, the whole thing sounds too awkward for everyone there. Probably best to just avoid it altogether.
Can you think of other absurdly tacky places where your clients could (but shouldn’t) tie the knot? Give us a chuckle and share your ideas in the comments!
